Romneyfied!!

On September 26, 2012, in Past Morning Briefs, by David

I’m itching to talk about what an historically, epically incompetent candidate Mitt Romney is. But he’s done such a good job making the case all by himself. Is it safe to say he’s making George W Bush seem like the Martha Stewart of the Right?

Now that the cynical — not to mention mathematically impossible — strategy of cutting taxes in the name of Debt Reduction will henceforth be known as The 47% Solution, are we finally safe from this double-talking, silver-spoon wielding, infinitely out of touch elitist-ocrat?

You'll get nothing and like it!!

Maybe not, but it’s looking a lot better for the “rest of us” with his campaign on the ropes. With his Let Them Eat Cake 2012 gambits, Romney has put a number on his disdain for all non-billionaires. Thanks to hidden camera technology outing the self-serving narcissism behind his Less-Taxes-For-The-Rich-With-Loopholes-To-Be-Eliminated-Later stratagem, a lot of questions are being answered (de-facto):

Q: Why so few details in the Romney Economic Plan?
A: Because the “Plan” is called Screw the Other 99% Without Letting Them Know.

Q: Is Trickle-Down Economics really another name for the Screw the Other 99% Without Letting Them Know Plan?
A: Yes.

Q: Can a candidate who is shifty like Nixon, sheltered like Reagan, latently unintelligent like Quayle, smug and condescending as a W., and willfully ignorant a la Palin lay low long enough to avoid exposure as supremely unqualified to be President of the United States?
A: Um, No. Hopefully.

Now that Romney has pooched this race so badly he’s even gotten the mainstream Republican media on his case — something W. managed to avoid until long after he’d been “elected” twice — we’re getting the chance to see what a cornered Mitt looks and sounds like (hint: it’s not pretty), plus the rare moment that the Democrats can go for the jugular. It’s easier to do so when the other party is so off-the-charts cuckoo.

Apparently the conservative platform includes the following planks:

1) There is a difference between “rape” and “forcible rape.” Nice use of semantics, Guys.

2) A woman’s body is able to selectively fend off pregnancy from unwanted insemination, therefore negating the need for that out-dated twentieth century invention, birth control.

3) The lazy, under-achieving 47% who don’t pay taxes because sales tax and Social Security tax and real estate taxes, etc. aren’t really taxes (?), don’t get the genius of the trickle-down economy and thus don’t deserve the sporadic stream that the upper class have been trickling down on them for the last several decades. (Tag-line: This Trickle-Down Economy Needs Flomax!)

4) When 1% of the country controls 90% of the wealth, that’s The American Dream in action. When the other 99% attempt to address these economic inequities, it’s Class Warfare.

5) If you don’t have anything nice to say, obstruct the President, accuse him of being a Muslim, and keep on cutting your own taxes.

6) Any religious ideology that isn’t Judeo-Christian is pure evil. Any religion that is Judeo-Christian (or the ordained Capitalist ministry of the holy $$$) is inherently righteous.

Religion: not a fan. I believe it’s the cause of 90% of the world’s war and strife, and 95% of all human hypocrisy. But if we don’t learn how to be the leaders of the free world in terms of respecting everyone’s right to practice their personal religion freely in private, we are going to escalate violence every single time.

Yeah, it’s not great that the penalty for blaspheming the Islamic deity is death. Kind of harsh. But is it the most important part of our freedom of speech that we get to blaspheme other people’s Gods? I would argue that our freedoms end when other’s freedoms begin. For example, it’s great to express yourself by juggling chainsaws, but not when you’re in a crowded movie theatre.

The anti-Muslim propaganda film/trailer “The Real Life of Muhammad” appears to exist solely to offend the sensibilities of the Middle Eastern culture that’s still angry with America for our brutal and unnecessary invasion of Iraq. If you’ve watched this film, actually watched it, you would see how blatantly inflammatory it was meant to be. And it worked.

I would liken the intent of this film to the intent of, say, Saturday Night Live airing a sketch on Yom Kippur portraying the holocaust as a complete and utter fiction, making light of the mass murder of 6 million Jews in WWII and making Hitler seem like a misunderstood genius. What would the reaction be to that, do you think? I’m not saying it should be illegal to do so. It probably shouldn’t be. But I’m also saying, “Why do it?” Because if you do, you’ll be asking for it. And the director – Nakoula Bassely Nakoula, aka, Sam Bacile (aka Im Becile?) – got it.

You haven’t really arrived as an anti-Islam propaganda director until you’ve got your own fatwa. Rites of passage, indeed.

Nice of Mitt to step into the fray by immediately inserting his foot into his sliver-spoon coddled mouth. The former governor of Massachusetts – nice one, Massachusetts! – and his mean wife Ann are finding that it’s much easier to win a nomination from the Newts, Hermans and Sanitariums of the world by spouting myopic clap-trap than it is to get elected against a guy who’s done a pretty good job under lousy circumstances bequeathed by the last belligerent, out of touch Conservative Chief Exec.

Not that we’re out of the woods yet. Like a tick whose best friend is Rush Limbaugh, Mitt and Co have six more weeks to convince us that their particular brand of Lyme Disease is really ObamaCare on steroids. Hey, his “Shoot First, Ask Questions Later” foreign policy plan is still extremely popular in Florida. So I’m not counting my chickens till all the votes are counted. And not counted. And re-counted.

 

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